Men of God.

The Priesthood. Something I swear I know much too much about, and yet at the same time know little to nothing about. Which, of course, is the paradox of most things in the gospel. You can always learn more. Today was, of course, General Conference. I am never disappointed in the content, but more than that, I am never prepared for the Spirit I feel when President Thomas S. Monson comes to the stand. What other man can be standing a thousand something miles away, and then transfered into a million pixels, and put onto a computer screen, and still have the Spirit so strongly with him, he can make a highly influenced girl of the world tear up? Today, he said "I love you." And I believed him. He really truly loved ME, as well as all of you, though I have never met him in my life. I felt he loved me. I know he does. After the meeting was over, he stopped, and talked with children, even giving one a high five, and buttoning the jacket of another. I had a huge smile as I watched him, and I could only imagine what the mothers of those kids were feeling. The prophet is indubitably a man of God, my friends, and there is no denying that, no matter what religion you come from. One of my greatest hopes in my life would be to one day shake the prophets hand, and get it on video camera so I can forever remember what it felt like to shake hands, though indirectly, with God.

General Conference.

Because this IS a blog about being a LDS youth, and this weekend WAS General Conference, its only appropriate that I write a little something about what I thought about it. Overall, GC is always something to look forward to for me. I mean, as a kid it was like "Sweet! a day off!" But now that I'm older and the lessons apply to me more, I've really grown fond of this weekend. Because of a band competition, I didn't get to listen to the Saturday conferences, but I listened to both of them today. And Jeffery R. Holland once again blew me out of the water. Last session, he did it too. When GC rolled around last year, my sunday school teacher challenged us to go into the conference with a question about the gospel, and promised it would be answered. My question was "How in the world could Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father know each and every one of us so explicitly when there are thousands upon thousands of people walking amongst us today?" Living in Houston, Texas, this seemed like a very legitimate question, something I had always struggled with, especially when I was out and about. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I have to admit I didn't expect my question to be answered. I mean, how many people were waiting to have some super important question of their own answered as well? Surely, mine wasn't of that much importance. But, I was wrong yet again. Brother Holland gave a talk entitled "None Were With Him". In it, he speaks of the atonement, how Jesus went through the ultimate walk alone, going where no one will ever or has ever gone, just for us, just so we would never have to. It's because of the atonement, that Jesus knows each and every one of us more than we could ever know ourselves. The real question I should of asked in this case, was "How did Jesus survive all that suffering for all the billions of people that have, had, and will have walk the earth!?" I knew not to doubt General Conference again. So this time, I was totally expectant, and eager to listen. At first, I was a little shocked at his talk about the Book of Mormon. It was almost angrily adamant. I wondered what had happened to make him like that. But then I realized, it was the strength of his testimony that drove him to that. I would give so much to be so utterly convinced about the gospel. His conviction has inspired me to read with more depth, and more real intent, so that I, too, can tell people with just as much spirit how much I know it to be true. I was also glad it gave me something else in my BOM defense arsenal, for the next time someone doesn't believe ME :D

Look Alike?

My seminary teacher looks like Tony Curtis.

"Free" Agency.

We watched this completely ridiculous movie in seminary. It was about this kid from the 80's who was all mad at his mom because she told him no when he asked to do something. At least, I think thats what happened. All I know is that he was all yelling at his room that was quite messy might I add, and then he threw his jacket in the 2 year old temper tantrum manner, only to have it land on his significantly better looking alter ego. At first, I thought he was one of those shoulder angels, you know the ones that always argue with the other shoulder angel, for comic relief? Yeah, I thought he was one of those, but life sized. But he just turned out to be this ridiculously good teacher of free agency. He made this incredible comparison of driving a reallllyyyyy nice car. Like the kind of car that makes you squeal before you even sit in it, much less turn it on. Anyways, this kid wanted drive that car at the speed it was meant to go at, or dang freaking haulin'. But there are speed limits! So devilishly good looking alter ego in a nice pair of Av's says, "Well, this is your dream, so lets make it have no rules!" And the speed limit sign disappeared. That kid took off, and heck, I would too! He gets down this road, and then this semi truck, or in other words, the stereotypical bad driver, comes roaring down HIS side of the road, and then kind of changes lanes right in front of the kid in the car, and right when they were about to die and stuff, POOF! They were magically back in the room. Now, the kid was all mad, cause he was having a good time! What nerve, what ghall! That truck driver had NO right to get in his lane. But then alter ego said, "Well, we took the rules away, so it wasn't the drivers fault. If we didn't have rules, no one could break them, and therefore no one would appreciate what it feels like to follow them," but in much more words, and probably more eloquently too. But you get the idea. Anyways, I thought that was an amazing point. I thought about it all day. People always complain about things like that, and how rules are restricting, but are they really? How could you appreciate good things, when the bad things are good too? That was the first thing I learned. Then it went on to talk about the message that two wrongs don't make a right, but I kind of blew that off, as it is so common and everything. This is where this whole recap of this movie ends, and my life continues. So I was at band, and I'm pretty much one of those kids that is mostly insubordinate, and wants to make the most of THEIR time, so maybe talks more than they should. But the thing is, the DI's (band leader people) are really rude a lot of the time. "Be quiet" turns to "SHUTUP!" and so on and so forth. As a highschool teenager who feels repressed, I of course react defiantly, and always justified my actions with the reassurance that they were being complete jerks, and deserved any crap I could dish out. Then after a particularly snarky remark, the clearest thought resonated through my head. "Two wrongs don't make a right." I almost stopped marching. I suddenly realized that I was at much fault, if not more so than the common band dictator. By being equally as rude in return, I was no better then they! I was floored, and kind of annoyed. I WANTED to be mean back, I WANTED to defend my rights. But I knew I shouldn't. The next time someone told me something in a less than friendly way, I answered back politely. And the effect was immediate. The devil of marching band started talking and laughing with me! I was amazed. Just by being polite, I was able to make life more bearable, even though I thought that by sticking it to the man, I was making life more "fun." This is the worldly fun, my friends, and does no good for a person. Finally, I would like to remark that it has not been easy to renounce my rebellious ways. In order to truly appreciate my choices, I have to sacrifice some of my comments I want to make as to abide by the no talking rules. Free agency isn't necessarily "free;" you have to work and sacrifice to get it. But the end results are so much better than the momentary satisfaction you might get by the gaping mouth of a slight superior you just put in their place.

It's not a mistake.

This week I had to make a difficult decision. And it's not like this has been the first time I've ever had to make a tough decision. But this is the first time that the first thing I thought to do was pray. I was so relieved at the easy fix that I honestly laughed. So I prayed. AND THEN A BOLT OF LIGHTNING STRUCK ME IN THE FOREHEAD AND I KNEW WHAT TO DO!!! False. I sat there, and nothing happened. But I found myself thinking a lot about one of the options, and then I thought of something I could do, and I did it. When I thought about it, I realized that could be the answer to my prayer, but I decided it wasn't because it had been my normal thought process, and I hadn't really felt something out of the norm. So I was kind of disappointed that I hadn't been answered and I had a few doubts about my ability to hear, or God's wanting to answer. So I went to bed, and just decided to kind of forget about it, and just sort of say that what I had done was an answer, even though I didn't really believe it was. Then today in church, a woman got on the stand and decided to talk about prayer. And she said "I felt impressed that I needed to say this, but not everyone gets answers in the same way.." and then proceeded to list of ways we can be influenced by the Spirit in answers to prayers, and I just sort of stared at her in shock. The whole "impressed to say this" is almost a cliche in church talks, and I never thought much about it. But this was fantastic, and extraordinarily accurate. Usually at times like these, I would burst into tears at this magnificent revelation, and feel dumb for doubting anything. But today, I got a content little smile, and I just felt happy. I sat back in my seat, and almost felt like God was chuckling at me, which I have no doubt he was. Who would have thought even Heavenly Father likes to say "I told you so?"

These are my Friends.

Every single one of them is completely different from the other. But somehow, we all mesh perfectly together. I have never met such a group of people I feel so natural with, while being so completely weird with all at the same time. They are my family away from home, and this isn't even all of them. I couldn't ask for better people to love.

"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."

Proverbs 18:24.

These are random pictures of those who mean so much to me. :D

Julia, Andrea, Me

Me, April

Ayesha, Me, Andrea

Bobby, Chris, Me

They come in all shapes and sizes, but they all bless my life every day one randomly hysterical comment at a time. Be it a shoulder to cry on, or a shoulder to grab onto for laughter support, they make my life better than I could ever imagine. I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Blessings in Sleep Deprivation

So this week, by some miracle, I made it to seminary every day within 5 minutes of 6 in the morning. That's completely ridiculous. I'm pretty sure most people don't even understand HOW ridiculous that really is. Last year, I usually rolled in around 6:30, only to catch the closing remarks and prayers, and even then, I'm not sure how much I really contained, though the lessons were nothing short of amazing. This year, since I'm entirely dependent on myself and can no longer decide to blame Oliver, I have had to make a renewed effort in getting up on time. And so I did. I haven't felt tired all week, and did not think much of it, until yesterday, which was Saturday. I woke up and was sure I had never been that tired before in my life. This is completely strange, but I was overwhelmed with gratitude. Seriously, I was glad I was too tired to function on a Saturday. To me, it was a blessing of seminary- I made it through the whole week without feeling tired, something I'm sure I never would have accomplished on my own. I have band after school on Monday's, Tuesday's, and Thursday's every week, and often have to attend the football game most Friday's that end at about midnight. Factor in PreAP/AP courses at a school like Cinco, and then early morning seminary, and you will find how much of a miracle it really is that I made it to Seminary within 5 minutes of 6 o'clock every day, and then lived to tell the tale today.